Whenever things that I’ve written are linked to, it’s usually because I’m serving as a member of press; and I’m still young enough to get a little giddy every time I see a new Google Alert with my name pop up. But in keeping this personal blog and disclosing some of the issues that I’ve faced, I hadn’t realized – until now – that the things I say can be regarded in a completely different context.
I do it all the time; I read what others have written and analyze their words and viewpoints. Having the tables turned on me, though, evoked an air of confusion. To better explain, my discussion on my past body image problems actually resurfaced when a University of Pittsburgh student found my blog post and examined it as part of her course work for school. Now, the unease comes mostly from the fact that I’ve kept a lot of my personal life shelved (in fact, I didn’t recognize the excerpt until I read it several times), and my online presence is either me being praised or me being in control of and articulating a point of view. With that said, I seem to had found myself caught in a moment of feeling exposed, much like when I had first hit the “publish” button for the initial entry.
Setting new perspective whiplash aside, there is a different sense of accomplishment to be felt here. To have someone read, then pose questions about what I’ve written, takes some close reading. So I suppose you could say that I managed to cultivate a sense of pride in having had someone follow me through such a lengthy post and then think enough of it to share it and her thoughts with peers.