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November, 2011

  1. Personal Absent Memories

    November 18, 2011 by Barb

    limitsOfMemoryLogo 1200 640x121 Personal Absent Memories

    The question of what happens when photography isn’t available to capture a particular moment, or rather, a memory, has been one that my class has been attempting to tackle in my course on photography and the archive. This notion of absent memory is one that particularly touches me, the reason being that I am able to create this personal connection, drawing on my own experiences, in trying to understand how we remember the unphotographed.

    All I have are reconstructions of my memory, that I have attempted to keep alive as best as I can; but even as hard as I have tried, there are always small details that I miss when going over what I constitute to have been true. The narration is in my own voice with what is said reading like a novel; I see the words but cannot hear the audio. The faces aren’t illustrated in their context, but rather, other photographs, such as staff headshots, take their place. I have wound up piecing together a memory with other memories so as to make up for what I cannot precisely recall.

    There is no verification, though. Where the photograph may present a point of contention – having us confront our countermemory, there is nothing for the unphotographed apart from the subjective image projected in the mind. The witness is memory itself, but it is trustworthy only to a certain point. When we treat our memory with new context, our postmemory (what we know later to be “true”) interferes and mangles our previous thoughts. Conserving the actual memory is almost an impossible feat – sights are blurred at certain parts, whether it be the small details or faces, and what we hear is subjected to the mixing of our internal record studio, changing the tone and frequency of voices. It is to say that nothing is precise, even if we like to think it to be so.

    In effect, absent memories have no bearing on which to ground them. They are abstract, clinging to whatever experience (to which one can relate) they can so as to cement themselves as a “memory,” and therefore not be forgotten.

    I write all of this with brevity and with the assumption that the terms are understood. One can uncover the definitions of “countermemory” and “postmemory” via Roland Barthes’ Camera Lucida and the notion of “absent memory” via Marita Sturken.

    Image via Collective Memory Project


  2. Thesis Shenanigans

    November 11, 2011 by Barb

    be nyu steinhardt 640x177 Thesis Shenanigans

    Be the vision. Be the instrument. Be the message. Be the change. Be the future. Be NYU Steinhardt

    This thesis business has been a behemoth to conquer; I actually refer to each Wednesday as an impending bust to my ego. But I say this with a smile. As frustrating as it is to be unsure of what direction to take or what the larger question on-hand should be, it’s a bit of a relief knowing that there are some academic hurdles that I have trouble facing, apart from jolly ol’ French syntax.

    I speak from the point of conceiving paper ideas and arguments. Seldom do I find, especially as years have progressed, trouble in narrowing my points and tying my arguments neatly together. It is almost a rather quick process once my fingers hit the keyboard that I am able to structure an essay well. By no means am I trying to present myself in some type of mythical or self-gratifying light, but that’s how it has been for me in terms of writing.

    Perhaps, it comes back to how my mind works – I think rather abstractly and see an idea in my head, and from there, I try to tie each one together in this imaginary mind map, and tease out the strings so as to create some sort of hierarchy. And so used have I become with this style that I can churn out papers with ease, spending my time trying to find the best words to convey my thoughts.

    Coming back to this honours business, I thought that it would be a cake walk – if only someone could tell me how wrong I was so much sooner. Tackling this notion of a thesis is a field that is completely unbeknownst to me; a pathway never having been tread upon. There are, of course, similarities and familiar notions in construction to what I’ve written prior but there are huge differences and larger questions raised.

    But much as my brain aches in trying to reconstruct and rephrase ideas, I liken it to training at the gym. There are new limits to be reached and explored; I’ve been used to a particular weight set, per say, and am formidable at it, but there is more that I can do with myself. That said, I have to do so with humility, and not brazenness. So cheers to another couple months of wrestling with ideas and research!

    Image via NYU Steinhardt